It ALL Matters...

Observed a man the other day in the "trainers only" section of the gym he was working at. He was managing the fitness of two middle aged female clients at the same time. He would look down at his phone and then go to one and show her what he wanted her to do. In this case, she sat on a chair with her back against a wall and spread her arms out against the wall and moved them up and down. While she was doing this, he looked at his phone again and went to the other woman whom he had start doing a version of 'supermans,' putting her left foot up and leaning forward with her right hand and then alternating. At no time did he check on the form or even whether the two ladies were doing the exercises he prescribed. He gave no feedback, no help and just kept looking at his phone for his next exercise to fill his hour slot.

Emblazoned in bold white block letters on the upper back of his red logoed work shirt was the word COACH.

Often lost in the frustrating work of coach developers  was a recent post on a social media account:

These coaches are  lifelong learners, working to get better each season, each practice, each drill, each interaction with players and parents. Often times, their egos don't demand attention and it's only after a players career has concluded that the athletes realize how integral that coach was to their success. 

For a modern world of instant gratification and acknowledgment, this idea becomes so inconsequential that striving for  a lot of coaches, those interactions becomes a waste of time and energy.

Unless, of course, you are one of their athletes.

One outside hitter, an All-State selection  her sophomore year on isn't playing into college. She's a dynamic 5-10 athlete that can pass in serve recieve and is a good blocker. She would have added value to any school she chose. 

But being the go-to player on a team with bad leadership can be more of a curse than a blessing. Every loss was pinned on her effort and mistakes. Close wins were her fault because she couldn't carry the team on her back. She began to get naseaus before matches in both high school and club and would sometimes get sick. After matches, win or lose, she felt depressed and relieved. Why, she asked herself, would I want to put myself through this for four more years.

Her coaches had gutted her passion and ripped from her captaincy her self esteem. She was the excuse, the reason for failure, the one that could never reach the potential cast upon her by short sighted coaches who thought "pushing" her was healthy and the best option.

Another player, an All-State selection in the northeastern US had this to say about her coach. “I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I was constantly reassured that I was going to be a 6-rotation player who rarely sat the bench. Instead, I was a 0 rotation player who rarely saw the court. If my own coach didn’t believe in me, why should I keep playing? I eventually realized I didn’t want to play, I just wanted the truth.”

“I remember seeing my coach during highschool season. She’d say ‘Great game Ally, I can’t wait to have you as my go to outside!’ I was ecstatic. Come to find out she’d said the same thing to 3 other girls.”

This player also walked away from offers, her self effacy bullet riddled. Another player who walked away from opportunty because an egotistical coach had blindly made decisions without any idea of the repurcussions.

Coach is an often used title in a lot of organizations. Life coaches, sport coaches, mental coaches, nutrition coaches. All with a purpose but how many have the credentials to claim legitimacy? In the US, coaching is a hobby for most. There are coaches on the sidelines of your daughter's volleyball tournaments that have not studied training ideas and methods, they don't have a coaching philosophy and maybe don't even use science to help them decide practice regimen, drills and recovery. For so many parents, they just don't know because they don't do the research on clubs and coaches. They listen to the stories told them about the scholarships and grandeur ahead and jump on board, only to find out the Titanic is equipped with a net.

We will leave you with this parent letter. It is both alarming and helpful if you are a parent looking for coaching qualifications in your athlete's upcoming season. 

"I have no idea of who or even if this message will be seen by anyone. However, I still want to get my perspective out there. I am a parent of 3 girls who played volleyball even into college… I am now a grandparent of a granddaughter who wants to play volleyball. My perspective is that nothing has changed in the qualifications/vetting process of coaches in all levels of volleyball. I watched a simple game in an Anthem league today and saw the same issues that were present when my 38 year old daughter played . Coaches are not trained and are not for the kids learning the game but winning. Something needs to change, especially in the training/vetting of coaches. My daughters had some wonderful coaches, and some truly awful coaches and human beings. One was definitely a pediophile  and I was the only parent on her team that was not ok with him. This was a 14 -1 team that went to nationals. My daughters played at various levels but we experienced such awful coaches at all levels. I would love to see standardize coaching.

We have 9 grandaughters and we have offered to pay for tennis and golf and anything other than volleyball for them. How sad especially since 2 of our granddaughters have a 6’4’ inch dad and a mom who is 5’10” and played at nationals at least 4 times. 

My husband and I literally had PTSD watching this simple league today and the awful coaching.

My daughters still love the game of volleyball but they  know that it comes with some absolute awful not vetted coaches both in club and schools and they dont know if they are willing to put their daughters through what they endured."

Coach, you matter. Club Director, it DOES matter who you put on the floor to coach your athletes. Parents, be picky and do your homework. 

It ALL matters...

Margin Call...

John F. Kennedy once wrote, "Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan." As the XXXIII Olympiad ended in Paris, France last night, hundreds of athletes won medals of different alloys while many, many more went home with nothing than the right to say they were Olympians, if for only once. The difference between those two extremes lie in the margins: some afforded them and others gained through guile and experience.

For some, they ran through walls with no time left and found victory on the other side...

For some, they held victory in their steely grasp only to let is slip away in the end...

For these two it came down to 1/100th of a second shredding through waves...

And for these two it was 2/100ths of a second scampering over vertical resin holds...

For another duo it was the 1/100th of a second lean of a sternum on the last step of 800 meters...

And the first torso crossing the line 5/100ths of a second in a blur lasting less than 10...

For one athlete, summoning that which maybe he didn't know he had...

For one, it was the margin of the ball of her foot that seperated her from possible gold...

And for another, it was an extended glove that saved a team and defeated another...

Yet still others felt the sting on a last gasp heave into a guarded net, treading water...

The thinnest of margins from a group of dedicated, hard workers who live on the margins. Some with little to no support or funding, and others with exorbitant resources to choose from. Scores, judges cards, times, goals...they  are the margins athletes live and die on. 

This summer's Olympics proved again just how important training needs to be. Specific, representative of the sport and competition being contested with added pressure. Anything less than that and those athletes above that won could have been on the underside of the margin of victory. 

Orphans and a thousand fathers roam Paris today, some perhaps waiting to come to Los Angeles in 2028. They know the margin call will be thin, as always...

"The Game Doesn't Owe You Anything..."

As the summer camp season winds down and high school volleyball begins, here are five more quotes for thought, confirmation and/or exploration from some coaches, athletes and some wiser than most.

Physical Educator and author of the book, "Seoul Ambition," Joel Cressman has some realizations for those coaches that use social media as tools and rewards for young athletes. 

"Social Media is changing the way kids play sports: It makes everything high stakes, mistakes can be devastating and it promotes social curation and strategizing. Kids care about clips because they consume clips. Modern coaches need to help them see the bigger picture." 

It may not seem harmful, but hearts, likes and follows are a currency that is based on whimsy and opinion. An athlete should be rewarded based on performance, effort, behavior with the team. As Cressman points out, Coaches need to help athletes see the bigger picture.

Head Men's Volleyball Coach at Long Beach State Alan Knipe has been busy on the podcast trail the past few months and two of his quotes have stuck. When asked if he could give his younger self some advice, his answer was a blueprint for transformational coaching.

"I think view the head coaching job as if you're a CEO of a small business. You're not responsible for every detail but you are responsible for everything. So hire really good people, but empower them and be incredibly detailed with the business plan and follow it. Listen to the worker bees, listen to your team players and invest in and build them up. If you get a chance to be around great people take it. And if if you're not strong in certain areas, then find someone who's better than you in that area and then follow up with their advice. I think that the last piece would be leaders have to be able to lead and it's not for everyone. And not everyone will like your decisions. You can't make everybody happy. You can't make every player on your team happy about everything all the time. Every parent, every person you work with in the athletic department, every other coach you coach against. It's about being respectful and having high integrity, high character, it's  a lot  about those things. It's about leading and leading with some some really clear goals and trying to be as open and honest, transparent you can be."

From the macro to the micro, Knipe adds some insight on coaching too much and keeping youth sports in perspective. 

"Talk to your kid when they get to the ages my kids are now: 23, 27and 21. You go back in time and you remember a rough practice or a rough game or rough tournament, maybe a rough season. And they don't remember the entire season, not one thing. And parents are losing their mind thinking it's super important and the kid can't even remember the season, never mind that one moment."

"So, I think the coach's job, even at a college level, but certainly when you coach juniors is when you have a practice and they love your practice. They should have been super excited for wanting to play that game. And when they go play the game, win or lose, they should be super excited to come back into your practice with you. And I think if you just win that battle, you're doing a lot of really good things. If they don't want to come to practice, they feel anxious and don't want to go into games, chances are that's coming from some pressure from adults. Maybe from the coach, maybe multiple coaches, maybe parents, whatever. But you're part of the problem if that's the case." 

After a disappointing round at the Genesis Scottish Open in July, professional golfer Matt Wallace dropped this wisdom, all the while battling his emotions and self doubt. “I’m just not where I want to be, you know? In the game,” he replied. “You can’t force it. You gotta roll with the punches. That’s what I’m doing at the moment. Just working hard every day. It’s just how it is. The game doesn’t owe you anything. I don’t like to get emotional about it. But I’m quite an emotional person, as everyone knows. Yeah. It’s hard.”

Finally, one of the masters. Vincent Van Gogh fired this up regarding his elaborate work process, but it's a quote that has lasted these 134 years since his death. 

"Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together."

A simple idea that we, as coaches, must reiterate with our athletes each and every day.

Five More Quotes From Smart People

Our first of five comes from former Olympic Marathoner and Coach Mark Coogan gave us this absolute gem of the realities of being an Olympic athlete;

"You have to put in 100% effort to extract a 1% improvement, and that 1% improvement is kind of what keeps us going forward. And to give that 100% , knowing that you might only get 1% back, that's the true courage."

Remember the last 11 year old you coached? Or maybe the last 17 year old? Maybe it didn't seem like they were giving 100% because they were slow to process or their body hadn't caught up with their mind yet. But this is a daunting proposition that we ask of our athletes each and every practice. It deserves our utmost respect and to be grateful for that courage!

"Coddling produces an ineptness that doesn't prepare us to survive, much less thrive. If Momma bird over cares for her young, then nature will destroy them. The bird that can't fly or hunt doesn't eat. The bird that doesn't eat doesn't survive. Bye bye Baby Bird. It is Momma Bird's responsibility to prepare her young to survive and it is our responsibility as leaders and Parents to prepare our young to survive. We don't do that by coddling them."

Authors Chris McAlister and Bret Burchard in their book "Leading for Impact" talk about how we as coaches, parents and leaders are letting down our kids, students and athletes by not holding them accountable and  how too many leaders are leading for validation, not impact, and modern leadership development isn’t helping people become great leaders.

Long Beach Men's Volleyball Coach Alan Knipe has been the leader of one of the most consistently excellent volleyball programs in the country for the last decade. In his tenure as the Long Beach coach, he took a four year hiatus to coach the 2012 USA Men's team in London. Here, Knipe talks about why WHEN we give feedback is as important as what feedback we give as coaches.

"It's not that it doesn't matter that we just made an error or we made a mistake or we did something out of character that doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter right now. It matters after the match in between sets in video session tomorrow as we go on Mindset Monday. It doesn't matter right now because it doesn't have anything to do with us winning the next point. So once you can kind of get to that point that you can go back later and talk about things you don't have to fix everything real time because it's not going to help them win the next point. "

"If you were to use for example, like an American baseball pitcher or any golfer, you look at that situation when they're getting ready to pitch and no one says anything to them. When someone's getting ready to hit a golf ball, they're going to go to their backswing, the whole crowd, they put signs up that say quiet, be quiet. And it's a technique sport, right so they don't want that. But in volleyball, even though it's a highly highly technical sport and techniques work, we tend to constantly coach about their last play and their technique, but then ask them to be really dialed in and focus on the next point. I don't think that the athletes over time can mentally do that very well. So the idea is to try to be so good in training that we can truly allow them to be as freed up as possible on the court to make the proper reads during the game. But more importantly than how, and this is probably the most vital part, is in between the points as they prep for the next point, is their total focus on just winning the next point there."

Coach and Communication Specialist Betsy Butterick was on a recent podcast talking about one of the most frustrating elements of being an athlete; the inconsistent coach. In interviewing an athlete, Butterick continued...

"She was like, I'm just ready for the season to be done which was very different than how she felt during basketball. I'm like, Well, why what's going on? And she said, I'm just tired of my coach's inconsistencies. And when I started asking more questions about that, she's like, some days, he shows up hot and he's mad when we start practice, and it's a long day. And then he comes back the next day and wants to be everybody's best friend. He just doesn't have a consistency in how he shows up. And that really makes it tough for the players because they don't know what to expect. And they're not really sure how to interact with him, depending on the mood he might be in or frustrated from the last game. And so it just makes that environment very difficult for them. I think that's true for parents and administrators as well, like the biggest headaches come from coaches, that are just not consistent with how they enforce policies or how they communicate. That you can be going on Friday and play on Saturday, JP is going on Friday but doesn't play till the following Wednesday, with no explanation. And so you know, those inconsistencies just produce headache after headache after headache, and they frustrate everybody around the coach. And I think something related to that maybe is just, for lack of a better word, is hypocrisy."
This inconsistency can be the death knell to a culture and can lost your athletes trust and focus quickly. Butterick's point that it is not just an athlete that suffers but Parents and other coaches as well. Consistency is a must in leading a program.
Finally, from another future Hall of Fame Coach, Nebraska's John Cook talks about how his newfound love of riding and roping has translated into him being a better coach for his players.
"When I'm roping on horses, I'm not thinking about any of that stuff. I'm thinking about staying on the horse, doing my job on something that's very fast, but I'm also learning. I'm learning a ton from these cowboys. You might think this is nuts, but I wish I could write a book on this. Now I've got the chapters in my head. But what I've learned from the cowboys and how they work with horses is made me a better coach because especially when you're riding a horse, you're trying to get that horse to trust you. You're trying to get them to do what you want him to do, but you can't talk to him. That's one of the things I see with young coaches. They all want to talk all the time. When you go watch these young coaches, they all stop every two minutes. They've got to talk, talk, talk. It's what I see in club practices, because they have to show everybody how much they know. Horses can't talk. So you have to get them to feel and trust and understand what you want and so it's now how I look at coaching. And as I'm riding horses, I got to get these players to trust and feel what they need to do and the cowboys have really really helped me with this."
It's an exemplary trait for a successful coach to always be looking for another edge. Using riding and roping, Cook reexamines how he relates to his athletes to get the best out of them. 
What can we do in our lives and hobbies to elicit a better coach inside all of us?

Replantear....

Reframing is a strategy that people can use, either on their own or in therapy, to help adjust their mindset. 

Seems simple enough. Find the positive in the negative. See the light instead of the dark, OR find the things to DO in the dark that you can't do in the light.

We, as coaches, can use this to our advanteage and disadvantage throughout a season. But working with coaches this week, a familiar pattern emerges from the summer camp season.

A coach will talk about their team with a fixture on the work ahead. "They can't pass,", "She is too slow," "They have a low volleyball I.Q.,"  "She isn't a leader," "They are too short to block," "She has a slow armswing," "She is late to everything," and on and on it goes.

So reframing the questions at hand coach, how about asking the following:

What CAN they do? What are their strentghs? Why are they at camp on the top court? What do you see in them that put them here?

We tend to spend so much time on what we want and can't have instead of what we do have in front of us. Coach, can we limit the bad passers in serve recieve with a creative rotation? Can we put the setter in a position where she can get to the ball quicker? Can we help this player grow as a leader? Can we play more in practice to help the team's volleyball I.Q?

The culture of the team isn't what you are looking for. They can get cranky with each other, they snipe and judge and can be inhospitable to one another. 

But coach, what IS good about the culture? They seem to work hard together, they love to compete. They enjoy being pushed out of their comfort zones. Can we focus on these traits and work with the others as the season progresses? 

We are surrounded by negatives all day. The news, social media, politics, sports, entertainment. It's hard to find positivity in our culture these days. It certainly isn't at one's fingertips BUT we do appreciate it. Who remembers during COVID when the Office star John Krasinski put together positive posts and stories once a week called, "Some Good News." just to offset the constant barrage of negativity streaming through our lives at that time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5pgG1M_h_U With over 19 million viewers on a YouTube post, it was clear then, as it is today, we need positivity and reframing in our lives now more than ever.

"I can't believe she just let's balls drop in front of her," "None of you talk," "We are doing lines if you make one more mistake," "We are running a lap for each missed serve this tournament." 

Coach, none of your players are trying to lose on purpose, trying to screw up, trying to make you mad or look bad. Chances are YOU are the culprit of these mistakes and misinformation. You haven't coached them well enough yet. See the mistakes for what they are. A chance to make a young person feel good about themselves, to help them succeed on THEIR terms, to help them become better players and part of a bigger mission: the team. Reframe your frustration into learning opportunties for your players AND yourself.

Reframing is a life tool, an educational tool, a coaching tool. It costs nothing but a little time, a mindset change and some patience. Give your athletes opportunities, not punsihments. See the positives and highlight them and work to repair or minimize the negatives. Find what each player can BRING to your program instead of constantly reminding yourself what they can't do for you and the team.

They are worth the time. And so are you, Coach.

Five for the 4th

We present another installment of five quotes in which smart and accomplished people give us new ideas and thoughts about life and how we can apply those to our coaching minds.

"I've been in the presence of so many people from whom through osmosis and watching them work. I have learned things about physical comedy, about the nuances of comedy, about the fullness of comedy, but there's always room to learn more. And for me that is an incredibly joyful adventure."

Comedian and actress Susie Essman gives us another example of the process. Her time in the comedy clubs of the Northeast to her hilarious role as Susie Green on the long-running sitcom, "Curb your Enthusiasm." Her joy of the journey kept her head above water during the lean years and the rejections and helped her secure a sitcom for which she has enjoyed for the last 24 years.

"Guess what the number one predictory variable is for mental toughness? When I'm interviewing coaches, scouts, fighter pilot trainers;  guess what they think? The predictor is what they look for. Yeah, like one of the first things that they look for because actually the majority of people who need people to have some level of mental toughness, don't believe they can grow it in people.  Because of this one predictor variable. Humility."

Brene' Brown discussed this idea of humilty being a difference maker in mental toughness. As coaches, we work to instill the quality into our athletes, but are we just as good modeling humilty for them? As coaches, athletes and even parents and fans, the idea of humility is swimming upstream against the raging stream of youth sports. Social media, awards and rewards, recognition and on it goes. Humility is a strength to be worked out each day, especially with those we coach.

"We use language everyday. Whether we use it by speaking or writing or signing. And we do it without thinking about it. Sometimes we think about the words we're going to say and they just tumble out of our mouths, or we make these incredibly sophisticated, meaningful utterances, without any upfront planning at all, without the awareness about the amazing blend of brain processes and bodily processes that it takes just to make one word, let alone combine them into making phrases. And when I said something, the remarkable thing is that the listener can understand it, and words are just puffs of air that is received and then translate back into brainwaves and that activates their brains. So this is such a remarkable, complex, sophisticated process that we use just without thinking about it every day of our lives for everything. Whether it's for social relationships, for our work, for talking about what we're gonna do or reflect about the past expressing emotions. So it goes right to the heart of everything we do." 

Author of "The Language Puzzle,"  Steven Mithen talks about, well...talking. His point of how amazing the idea of language has evolved and continues to affect nearly everything in our lives leads us, as coaches, to honor this miracle and use it effectively, positively and sparingly.

"The very first slide I offer says, research your own experience, absorb what is useful, discard what is not and add what is uniquely your own. This is the journey that we all should be on."

Shawn Myszka is a Ecologoical Dynamics proponent who has started his own company, Emergence, to help coaches and players train more effectively and efficiently. His quote is one that every coach should take to heart. Not everything is for everybody, not every player, sport or movement is the same and we, as coaches, need to meet players and teams where they are and take them to the next level. The tools we use are valuable but there can be many options. As a Coach, research, absorb, discard and add.

Finally from leadership and culture guru Jennifer Garvey Berger who succinctly puts our coaching goal in front of us:  "Create the conditions for good things to happen."  

This is a great one to end on. It's simplicity is brilliant, it's impact neverending. 

Dear Coach...They Deserve Better!

Dear Coach. Yes, you, the assistant Coach in Enumclaw, Washington. The one who got a call from the head coach less than an hour before the start of practice last week that he couldn’t come that night and you to run practice. You, the coach that was running the last practice for this exceptional 17’s team before it headed to Las Vegas for Nationals three days later. The Coach that decided the best idea for practice that night was for this 17’s team to run 16 sets of lines. SIXTEEN sets of lines. Obviously, running these lines would put these 17-year-olds in penultimate shape for the tournament ahead. Now, after these 16 sets of lines, this team would run anaerobic circles around their opponents.

Seemingly, it never occurred to this coach that maybe playing was a better option than running. It would be a bit of a surprise if this group of 17’s didn’t already know how to run and sprint. Having played volleyball for years, it’s hard to imagine that this team didn’t possess the skills to sprint after a ball, transition quickly off the net or approach for an attack. Obviously, this coach knows his players better than I, but his default was in fact, running. Coach, your athletes deserve so much better from you.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/to-the-coach-who-ruined-the-game-for-me

Dear Coach, the one who coaches a co-op team from Lidgerwood and Wyndmere athletes in North Dakota. The one who has several exceptional athletes: a 5-10 setter with butter for hands, a strong quick middle, a legit outside hitter and a feisty libero who vacuums the back court. Yes, Coach, you! The one who does the same thing at practice every day: twenty minutes of passing on their knees, serve receive drills, hitting lines and finishes- if there is time left- with some 6 v 6.

Coach, we understand that you are also teaching history and have a family of your own. But accepting the job of a high school volleyball coach and the stipend that comes with it also requires you to put some thought into the athletes you are coaching. It requires you to learn about the practices of coaching and teaching, to not grab your drills from a book on coaching volleyball from the 1980’s. It should require you to listen to your athletes, let them have a voice in practice. Let them help you. Some play for club coaches and have other ideas for training. Being a good coach, the one who isn’t getting beat by smaller, less athletic programs who train for the game they will play, means you have to sometimes put your ego aside and understand that you don’t know what you don’t know. Your athletes deserve better!

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/to-the-coach-that-killed-my-passion

Dear Coach, the one in Hettinger, North Dakota. The coach that has been gifted one of the best setters in the state, who can do everything on the court including being a great leader and teammate but is sentenced to the coach that does the absolute least amount she can throughout the year. The coach who offers no extra playing opportunities, who gives little if any feedback and just finds a drill online, runs it and moves to the next with no thought or inspiration put into it. The coach that seems to her players to just be collecting a paycheck and skating through the lives of her athletes untouched by them or her circumstances. Dear Coach, your amazing setter and her teammates deserve so much more from you.

Volleyball can be a sport of passion, of excitement. It can light the night sky and give goosebumps to the dead. The energy, the twitterpation, the climb from the depths of average to the thin mountainous Everest air of extreme accomplishment can be had in just one play, one set, one match…one season.

Or it can be mundane, passionless and energy draining. It can be lowly and ordinary, vapid and a wasteland of athleticism.

To these coaches and the ones that fall into these categories, your athletes deserve so much more.