Five Quotes

From a week scouring podcasts, here are five noteworthy and mind mulching thoughts and ideas to chop up with your Coaching friends...

“And the unique aspect, I think, certainly from a field sports standpoint for rugby is there is no real stoppage right? So, you know as well as anybody else in soccer, it's difficult. It's difficult for them to even hear you during the game. I ask my players all time how much can you hear me? Not at all right? Not at all. So, all it is really is just animation at that point because I haven't done my job in practice of allowing them to troubleshoot themselves and I'm constantly orchestrating that. They don't have practice in it. So therefore, how are they going to do it? Inside the game?”

Becky Carlson, 3X National Rugby Champion Coach talking about making sure her athletes learn to solve problems IN practice FOR the game because they can’t hear her anyway.

“I’ll hear my athletes consistently presenting things and saying, ‘I feel like.’ There is a very staunch neutrality about that. And it’s not making statements, it is giving opinions and therefore when you remain neutral, there never has to be any action items. So that carryover from their social interactions goes out on the field when they go, ‘I feel like we might not be getting to the rocks’ and my response is, are we? What is the action I'd have to follow. So now we're at a place where we are attempting in a very delicate manner, slowly but surely, to eradicate that from our language so we can be more productive and it's less about satiating my desire for the team to speak differently, but more of us to be productive and to garner results that are aligned with our goals.”

Becky Carlson again, talking about eliminating the phrase “I feel like” from her athletes and coaching staff in search of actionable language that will move the team forward.

"Just a quick statistic, we spend well over $150 billion a year pursuing health. Which includes how do we find the right diet program, the right exercise program, the right supplement. Maybe throw in some longevity hacks, you know, fly down to Costa Rica for some stem cells. And that's how we're going to live a long time. And that's common sense in America. But what's uncommon sense is this notion of instead of trying to change our behavior, we change our environment, and thereby engineer our unconscious decisions over the long run.”

Blue Zones explorer Dan Buettner talking about why it’s a struggle for people in America to make changes.

“I'm not that uncomfortable with the idea that every research study is questionable because kind of like that's the point. It's all gray and it's all hypothesis and nothing is certain. There's very few very distinct black and white findings or realities in our world. Everything's contextually finding blue and red but instead, it's smaller shades of purple, right? So, there's a spectrum of confidence that we can actually have around research. And some studies fly far over to the one side where we can say we have no confidence that that certain effect works and some studies are far over to the other side. We can say we got reasonable data, but there's no such thing as absolute confidence. Something like for instance, I don't know, sleep deprivation is bad for your health. Okay, I'm very confident sitting here that that's definitely true. Most studies have falsely claimed that. But then you move towards icing (ice baths) and caffeine and all sorts of other things and it gets a little bit more purple, and I'm okay with that. Honestly, I think that's what I would want people to take away from this is don't be definitive because even the science that you're relying on isn’t.”

Dr. Ross Tucker Ph.D., a Science and Research consultant talking about how research and the papers they produce should be questioned and not taken as gospel.

“So one of the things that was taking place is we were very clear that in the hallways, we were great about not talking about somebody that wasn't amongst us. And we would call on our discipline. If that person is not here, like just keep it moving if we don't need to say it to their face or to be able to confront them. And what ends up happening is that people start to feel really safe, because they're not worried about what's happening in that conversation over there. Like, is it about me? That's a very good standard.”

Dr. Michael Gervais, Performance Psychologist talking about creating safety within a team or workplace by not talking about someone who isn’t with that group.

They...

Asking coaching friends about their region tournaments this season, the answers are split: those that won and those that lost. 

The ones that lost this season have said things like, "They sh*t the bed!" "They aren't mentally tough." "They don't know how to win." "They can't stay focused." "They weren't ready to play today." "They just don't care." 

The winning coaches sound completely different, of course. But when put into the fabricated dark hole of losing, these comments persist.

This was St. John's head Men's basketball coach Rick Pitino after his team gave up a big lead and lost.

"This has been the most unenjoyable experience I've had since I've been coaching."

LSU Women's basketball coach Kim Mulkey had this to say about her team at halftime against the #1 team in the country.

"We come out, we take the lead and then we have turnovers."

After Kentucky Men's basketball coach John Calipari's team was upset in the first round of this year's NCAA tournament, he gave this interview.

"We had some guys not play to the level they can play."

Not that it matters in these moments, but Pitino has a base salary of $3.3 million a season, Mulkey at $3.26 million and John Calipari at $8.5 million per year.

It would be unfair to judge them as coaches and people based on these snippets at a difficult moment of their seasons. 

From the club coaches above to the three mega successful college basketball coaches shown here, there is something missing.

We...

Yes, Mulkey says it but then takes her team to task. Pitino calls out his individual players for their shortcomings and Calipari points out the areas where his team failed.

What you also might notice is in all of these quotes and interviews, there is no accountability placed on one position on the team.

The head coach!

If we coach leading with ego, we are going to get what we deserve. College level athletes may be able to handle coaches like this better, but if you are going to separate yourself from your team, what is the message you are sending out?

Maybe all the coaches in this blog don't understand the randomness of team sports. Maybe they don't know what to do to make their teams better in certain moments, or moving laterally or not giving up turnovers at key times. 

You are either a coach or you are not. If you are a coach, then you figure out ways to solve  problems, deal with adversity and do what you are capable of to make your team better. If everything is based on the win, loss column, then perhaps you will see Pitino's gripe about this being the worse coaching experience of his career as your situation as well.

Of course the one thing we forget in watching these videos and hearing these coaching comments is the players. How do you think what is being said makes them feel? Maybe that is of no interest to major NCAA basketball programs or maybe even to club volleyball programs, but it should be.

How would you feel if these things were said about you?

“Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.”
― Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy

The hefty transition

This was sent by an angry Assistant Coach. She is a former College player who is in her second year as an assistant of an 18’s team.

“I had a conversation with the head coach of the team I'm coaching about doing more 6v6 and lost the battle. I was told, ‘We don't have the skills to do 6v6 so we have to specifically work on those skills.’ So let me get on a box and hit balls at girls just to have them work specifically on getting their body around the ball, but let's also take away left back and middle back, take away the block so that it's a perfect scenario.”

The last sentence, from the sarcasm file, points to an assistant coach wanting to help, have some input and feel valued.

John Kessel’s coaching mantra of “never be a child’s last coach” is a foundation of how we should be engaging and treating athletes. But what about our assistant coaches?

As a head coach, is your assistant a glorified ball tosser? Are they the fill in player when someone is sick? Are they the keeper of stats and the one to make sure the balls are retrieved at the end of tournaments?

If this is all you are utilizing them for, perhaps you need to reevaluate your mentorship.

Many assistant coaches are new to coaching, former players, fresh out of college or high school and entering a world that they only knew before as a player. Now there are club dynamics and egos, parents, logistics, caring about the 12 instead of the 1. It is a hefty transition.

How can you as a head coach help? Communication is the starting line. Have you had talks with your assistant coach(es)? Maybe you picked them, maybe not, but a collaborative session of your vision as a head coach is needed. From there, what input can your assistants give you? Are you agreeable to accept it? Some coaching egos automatically put everyone else in the backseat. Can you be the coach that allows for the possibility that you may not know everything?

What value and tools does this assistant coach bring to your team, your club and to you as a coach? Did she play at a high level. What did she learn from her coach? What are her principles compared to yours? If they align, no worries. If they are different, can you listen to each other while your cases are being made? Ultimately, the head coach makes the final decision. But can collaboration be the norm and not the exception?

 Sometimes it is someone who was out of the game and is coming back to the sport. Maybe it’s someone starting from scratch and never thought about coaching until now. When the season is over, is she anxious for her next season’s team or is she disillusioned and walks away?

Think for a second as to what makes you feel undervalued at your job? No one listens to you or your ideas? You are relegated to duties that any entry level employee could do? You are talked down to, your feedback and comments dismissed and your search for improvement and promotion is thwarted at every turn.

Sound familiar?

Your assistant coaches should learn from you. Teach them the how’s and more importantly the why’s of your season and practice plans. Ask for feedback. You don’t always have to take it, but it’s always valuable to hear other perspectives on problems and solutions. Can you give your assistant some part of practice to oversee with the thought that this is the steppingstone to being a head coach next year.

Can we treat these valuable members of the sport with the idea that echoes Kessel’s?

Never coach an Assistant Coaches last team!

Get out of the way!

The paper is entitled, "Decline in Independent Activity as a Cause of Decline in Children's Metal Wellbeing: Summary of the Evidence." From February, 2023 and compiled by PHD's  Peter Gray, David Lancy and David Bjorklund, the paper spells out two main areas of concern.

First, "Although most current discussions of the decline in youth mental health emphasize that which has occurred over the past ten to fifteen years, research indicates that the decline has been continuous over at least the last five or six decades."

And the cause of this decline? According to the authors, "Our thesis is that a primary cause of the rise in mental disorders is a decline over decades in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam and engage in other activities independent of direct oversight and control by adults."

Free play and autonomy...

The other paper to look at is entitled, "Starting and Specialisation Ages of Elite Athletes across Olympic Sports: An International Cross-sectional Study." by Veerle De Bosscher, Kari Descheemaeker, and Simon Shibli published in September of 2023.

In this research, the authors studied 2,838 world class athletes to assess when they began their sport journey and when they specialized in the sport they now excel in.

This chart shows the time when an athlete begins their sport (in the gray) and the time they choose that sport as the one they will specialize in, (In the black)

Sports that favor small frames and younger participants, like gymnastics and swimming are very short durations from beginning to  specialization. And sports that many folks pick up later in life or become second sports, like archery and bobsledding have much later specialization ages.

Volleyball is listed as 6 years in the making, from an 11 year old trying the game out to a 17 year old deciding they want to further their  career in college or professionally. This study highlights that there is a 6 year window between a beginning level and a level of expertise that would give an athlete the confidence to want to play on at the highest levels.

These two studies, within a 8 months of each other, go hand in hand.

What the latter study doesn't include is the athletes that quit the sport. The average age of volleyball players quitting the sport is 13!

THIRTEEN!

There is a level of focus, engagement, learning and performance that these young 11 year olds need to become world class in our sport. But sadly, most will never get that chance. They are discouraged from free play with their friends; just grabbing a beach volleyball and having fun with some school mates or neighborhood buddies.

As important as we think we, as coaches and parents, think we are, we need to check ourselves. If a young athlete can explore, solve problems and most of all have fun and stay engaged, they will learn oodles more than any private lesson or libero camp.

A wonderful coach once said, the best thing coaches and parents can do for their athletes is to just get out of the way!

Not every sport interaction for your child or player has to be organized, commoditized, specialized or privatized. We don't need camps, clinics, clubs, academies, privates, leagues and tournaments if the player is overcoached, over scheduled and overwhelmed.

How about just asking them? What do they want to do?

Once in a while, just let them play. 

Get out of the way.

Preparing Children for the Path...

On January 22nd of this year, the Phoenix Suns were playing the Chicago Bulls. With the game tied, the Suns Kevin Durant made this shot to with the game for the team:

But look a little closer...

First recorded in 1605, the Latin word was adaptāre: to fit or adjust. We know it today at adaptation.

Durant sees the defender out of the corner of his eye coming behind him to block the shot and a defender in front he has to shoot over. He adjusts the shot in midair, pulling it just a bit forward to avoid the block from behind and moving it to the left a bit to avoid the defender in front.

Adaptation.

Durant is a perennial NBA All-Star and has been in this situation before. It would be hard to imagine a coach one day in practice saying to him, "Let's move your shot around a bit while you are in the air shooting." Durant adapted, most probably because at some point in his career he was blocked from behind, or maybe knew the defenders and what they were capable of. Durant's experience lead him to adapting his shot to the moment and a win for the Suns.

How important is adaptation? To be succinct, if not adaptable, we as a human race wouldn't be here. All living things on the planet have had to adapt to their surroundings, predators, geography and environments. It is as much a part of life as your DNA and 

In your practice this week, did your athletes work on adaptation? Did you put them in situations that were uncomfortable for them to figure out. Did they resist so much that you relented and just went back to their comfort zones? 

Or did you force them into doing skills and movements that they were unaccustomed to? Did you make them adapt to situations in the middle of a point or a set? Did they have to adapt what they did based on their environment?

The greatest athletes in the world have faced challenges and obstacles that have forced them to adapt. As a coach, are your athletes getting the same opportunities to learn this dyer skill in your practices this season? 

Misty May Treanor was recruited as an outside hitter to Long Beach State but moved to setter where she won a National Championship and Player of the Year. Arizona's own Betsi Flint was an outside hitter in high school and club and became one of the best liberos in the West Coast Conference while at LMU then later transitioned into professional beach where she is one of the top players in the world. Another Arizona player, Sarah Sponcil was a club
setter that played outside hitter at LMU and then went back to setting her senior season at UCLA and after she finished playing collegiately, jumped into the beach game and earned a trip to the 2020 Olympics. Without the ability to adapt, none of these players would have found success or been the best version of themselves. 

Adapting is one of the traits we expect in athletes but often don't train. Adapt YOUR practice plans and coaching style. How can you learn to adapt better to things? How can you transfer that to your athletes?

"We must prepare children for the path, instead of the path for children.”- Tim Elmore

First Tournament Eyes...

This is the first club tournament for most all of you. So, we want to give you some insight into what we are all in for on Saturday....

We will miss hundreds of our serves.

We will miss hundreds of their serves.

We will let the ball drop often while we figure out this team sport.

 

We will be in the wrong place a lot.

 

We will lose focus because we are so young.

We will become impatient and cranky at times.

We will struggle often but have highlights as well.

 

We will be squirrely and be difficult to herd when needed.

 

We might cry because we care so much and we don’t want to let anyone down.

 

We will be anxious and nervous and scared and it will show at times.

 

We will be incredibly overwhelmed mentally putting everything we are learning into practice.

 

We will forget all day that we are LEARNING this incredibly hard game in a very difficult environment.

 

We will talk to ourselves in a negative way often, not seeing that we are getting better with each serve and pass.

 

We will work to encourage and to be good teammates and root for each other in a world that values individualism.

 

We will unfortunately, at first, see winning as THE defining achievement and losing as THE end of the world.

 

We, by definition, cannot see the big picture yet and it will show.

 

While it may not look like it at times, WE ARE DOING THE BEST THAT WE CAN.

 

We may hear people in the stands shout things to us that they would never say to a 12-year-old in a mall or a carwash.

 

We might see our own parents lower their head into their hands, shake their head, and seem disappointed in us.

 

We will see and play against others that are bigger, stronger and faster and compare ourselves to them.

 

We are NOT making mistakes on purpose even though some people watching might think so.

 

We will grow weary playing 3 matches in six hours and our normal practice is 90 minutes twice a week.

We will have to officiate and score keep even when we are tired and struggling to stay focused.

 

We are starting where EVERY Olympic player started their journey.

 

We are the product of our parents and we will be directly affected by their emotion and demeanor.

 

We are young. 

"Banter..."

Klay Thompson of the Golden State Warriors is having a rough season. With the NBA grind a third of the way done, listen to him describe the conversation he had with head coach Steve Kerr.

Ask yourself this question. Would you, as a coach, be able to tell your star player the things Kerr told Thompson, especially the part about how his negative energy was affecting the rest of the team? 

Listen to how Arkansas outside hitter, Jill Gillen, talks about her relationship with her head coach, Jason Watson. Gillen was a 5-7 outside who despite a stellar juniors career, received only one college offer; from Arkansas. This year the team, riding on her shoulders most of the season, the Razorbacks got to the elite 8 before losing to eventual finalist Nebraska.

Relationships with athletes like this are pure gold for both coaches and players. They are transformational. And Watson's faith in Gillen was a foundation for the team's success this season, their best finish in school history.

Finally, Kansas State University basketball coach Jerome Tang, who has a winning percentage of over .700 in his first two years at the school, understands that his team's performance begins and ends with the man in the mirror. 

"They don't go out there on purpose and make mistakes!" Tang reiterates the idea that blame, if any, falls on him. And as he says, he looks for ways to get better.

Would you be able to have the kind of heart to heart with your star player like Steve Kerr did with Klay Thompson? Are you the kind of coach that your players will love and appreciate so much they are brought to tears talking about all you have done and sacrificed for them? Are you able to stop blaming your players, understanding that they aren't out there making mistakes on purpose just to make you look bad, and realize that the man in the mirror is where the blame begins and ends, if any is warranted.

These three exceptional coaches show us honesty, vulnerability and humility; all traits great coaches exhibit.